10 Things You Should Know About the CrackMonkey

1. Her well-endowed chestal region is nicknamed "The Twins"
2. She punched a horse in the jaw once.
3. The horse had bit one of The Twins.
4. She's the one who inherited Dad's anal-retentive spell-check gene.
5. She's exactly 3 years, 3 months, and 1 hour younger than me.
6. After the birds-n-bees talk from Mom, I further traumatised her by informing her about:

• gays
• lesbians
• how to masturbate

7. Continuing the theme, I was present when she bought her first vibrator.
8. Her eyes were bigger than her....: said vibrator was a bit oversized for our petite lass.
9. She's slightly shorter than I am. Ha!
10. She's gonna kick my ass for this post.


CrackMonkey adds: I'm not sorry I lost that vibrator. "Eddie and the Batteries" was a bit much.

Bitch.

11. She's a lot nicer than I am.
12. Well, sometimes.

11. She's a lot nicer than I am. - You caught me on a good day - I got drunk and laid (well) last night.

I got drunk and laid (well) last night. - Christ woman, get out of my brain!