Calling the Fam for Hols Never Fails to Amuse

Quote for the day:

Hold on, I've got a Hummer coming up my ass
-Ma, Easter 2005

Somethings Never Change Category:

Date: January 1976
Impending event: Birth of The Antichrist Romakimmy
Dad is: Watching the Fighting Illini basketball game with the obsterician

Date: Easter Saturday 2005
Impending event: Catholic Mass with Grandma
Dad is: Watching the Fighting Illini basketball game on his cell phone

I cannot believe Grandma didn't give him a frack* upside the head. 'Mellowing out in her old age' doesn't even begin to describe it.

Oh and tell Dippy that she needs to A) call Grandma more often** B) arrange to get some calzone from Grams, else she runs the risck of a frack upside the head from me.

* Grandma's word. We believe it's slang for "fucking" + "smack"
** Yeah, I know. Like I'm one to talk





Hold on, I've got a Hummer coming up my ass -Ma, Easter 2005
You should have heard the conversation after we hung up. It went downhill (i.e. - the thud of a ball sac on a shoe?) very quickly. And of course, I blame you. ;)

What would you like to bet that New Stepmom(tm) was watching him obsess on the Illini and calling him "sweet muffin" whilst shooting daggers from her eyes? Boiled bunnies, indeed.

A) call Grandma more often
Sigh, I'll do my best. Still think that fits in the "two way street" and "parental guidance" cateogories.

B) arrange to get some calzone from Grams, else she runs the risck of a frack upside the head from me.
That made me snarf hot tea. But seriously...calzone! Whoo-hoo! I knew Lent was worth it. Now watch as the 15 pounds I lost comes back after eating just one slice of the delicious, artery-clogging goodness.

Do you think calzone travels well? It could be mistaken as a weapon, especially if frozen. At the risk of a long distance frack, though, I'll facillitate getting you your calzone.

Dad is: Watching the Fighting Illini basketball game with the obsterician
No wonder your head is shaped a little funny.

Please don't hurt me.