Speechless? Why, yes.

This quote wasn't what did it though.

It was the lack of a comma in

YOU HAVE A BABY?????? I ALMOST HAD HEART FAILURE!!! LOL LOL LOL!

that

• I.) caused me to rush back to the previous email I had sent, frantically wondering when I
  
  • A.) become pregnant
  • B.) written an email about it
  
  
• cringe thrice for AOL retard speak
• wince for the extra puctuation ontop of ALL CAPS SHOUTING.

Somebody please take the computer away from mother.