Excellent

Nothing could make me happier. Not even copious amounts of penis. Really. Stop muttering *yeah right" underneath your breath.

Funnily enough, during a recent conversation Shithead pointed out that the "Use This Womb for Free" card I gave you a few years back only has another half decade or so before it expires.

I'm old. When the fuck did that happen?



Around the same time I got old. Which was 21 days ago.

To be technical, it wasn't a "Use This Womb for Free" card that was given. It was a "Use This Womb And Then Pay For My Plastic Surgery" card. Six of one, half dozen of the other, but the offer was still extremely generous, wonderful and makes me tear up.

See, folks? She's not the cold hearted bitch she makes herself out to be...most of the time.

And why in the heck was Shithead pointing that out? Were you two having conversations about babies again? Am I going to be an aunt?